"Cat Haiku"

• You never feed me. Perhaps I'll sleep on your face. That will sure show you.
• You *must* scratch me there! Yes, above my tail! Behold, elevator butt.
• The rule for today: Touch my tail, I shred your hand. New rule tomorrow.
• Grace personified. I leap into the window. I meant to do that.
• Blur of motion, then -- Silence, me, a paper bag. What is so funny?
• You're always typing. Well, let's see you ignore my sitting on your hands.
• My small cardboard box. You cannot see me if I Can just hide my head.
• Terrible battle. I fought for hours. Come and see! What's a 'term paper?'
• Small brave carnivores Kill pine cones and mosquitoes Fear vacuum cleaner.
• I want to be close to you. Can I fit my head inside your armpit?
• Wanna go outside. Oh, crap! Help! I got outside! Let me back inside!
• Oh no! Big One has been trapped by newspaper! Cat to the rescue!
• Humans are so strange. Mine lies still in bed, then screams. My claws are not that sharp.
• Cats meow out of angst "Thumbs! If only we had thumbs! We could break so much!"
• The Big Ones snore now Every room is dark and cold Time for "Cup Hockey."
• In deep sleep hear sound Cat vomit hair ball somewhere Will find in morning.
• We're almost equals I purr to show I love you. Want to smell my butt?
• The cat is not all Bad - she fills the litter box With Tootsie Rolls.